Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Synchronicity of healing






This April I had a great 8 mile run on a beautiful Saturday morning. I got back from my run and decided to take a leisurely bike ride to cool down and enjoy the morning weather some more.
On my favorite path, I came upon a couple walking three little dogs on retractable leashes. I gave them plenty of room as I passed, but at the last minute, one of the dogs veered into my path and I swerved to avoid it, my front wheel digging in to a muddy patch by the path, and I went pitching forward, hitting my head and shoulder. I lay there dazed, while the people kept asking "did our dog cause this?" A neighbor walking further behind came upon the scene and offered me and my bike a ride home. I was sore and had some scrapes to clean up, but thought I was fine. A couple hours later I woke from a nap and felt a throbbing pain in my shoulder and back. A neighbor took me to the urgent care, and an x-ray and examination revealed a broken clavicle and two broken ribs. The doctor told me that the clavicle would heal in 3 weeks or so, and that the ribs would take two months. The pain was pretty intense whenever I moved, so running would be out even after the clavicle healed. The days, weeks and months clicked away and gradually I was able to run again after two months. The time off had given me a renewed desire to run and an appreciation of the joy that I get from observing the changing view on the paths that I run and the thoughts that come in to my mind. There was also something else.
Just before my accident, I received the final documents ending a 36 year marriage. I realized that there had not been anyone to tell me that the healing I had been going through the past year had a prescribed "end date". It didn't. I also realized that there was no formula: keep your arm in a sling, avoid a particular activity. There was only myself and people that I could confide in, to help me make progress. I realized over time that I wouldn't heal if I wasted time going over the past, and that worrying about the future was futile as well.
When I took my first run, I realized that my shoulder and ribs were healed. I also found that I was full of joy at what I was seeing and feeling during the run. Suddenly, I was truly in the "present". Lately, I have been having a lot of experiences that seem to be explained by "fate" or "coincidence". Rather, I suspect that healing on so many different levels is actually "synchronicity". Yes, my shoulder still hurts at times and my ribs can sometime be a bit sore. I also still have memories of the marriage that come back from time to time. Whenever this happens, I remember to revel in the "present". There is a brightness and contentment to be found there. It makes me smile.